Major mum fail on the first day back at school

Begging to be let in because you HAVE A MAJOR SCHOOL UNIFORM EMERGENCY.

Yes, I had all of the school holidays to get this organised. Except for when I wasn't working. Or doing fun things with the kids like taking the dog down that really big slide at the Kambah Adventure Park. Good times.

The return to school after the Easter holidays means a switch from the summer to winter uniforms. My kids had grown heaps. But I thought I had this in hand, I really did.

We'd gone to Savvy the day before school started to get my son a new shirt. Check.

We'd tried on the trousers in his cupboard. They still fit. Bonus.

But then came Wednesday morning - the first day back at school after the Anzac Day public holiday on the Monday and a teachers' in-service day on the Tuesday (Don't you love them?).

DISASTER.

My son put on his trousers and, yes, they did look a little bit different to the other day. A little bit strange. A little bit bootleg. A little bit feminine.

Oh Jesus-god-in-heaven they were his sister's old trousers.

This was never going to do. My son was distraught. There was no way he was going to school in girl's pants.

No matter how much I cajoled and kept looking at the pants this way and that and thinking, They don't look that bad, they did.

So there was nothing else but to drop my daughter at school and do another panicked sortie to Savvy with my son, hoping to get him re-panted and to school and me to work by 9am. Hahahahahahahah.

There is probably nothing worse than the disapproval of the Savvy ladies. They know how long you've had to get this done. They have seen this sh*t before.

As my son and I stood at the door, I asked the nice lady, "So, there's really no difference between the girls' and boys' pants is there?".

She gave me the death stare. Of course there is a difference. Those are the girls' pants, she said, looking at my son. The boys' have the double knees. They're not bootleg. Yes, of course, I deferred.

She let us inside. She let my son try on some new pants . As we were in the change room, I heard the door bell trinkle and a father rush in saying, 'I'm sorry, but we have a uniform emergency!'. I looked at my son and smiled weakly. "See, I'm not the only one".

The Savvy lady let my son wear his new pants out of the shop. We left feeling 100 per cent lighter. My son was happy. He had the right pants.

And it was only 9.10am. Bless the Savvy ladies. And thank you for not calling DOCS on me.

I looked at my now relieved son and said, "Maybe I can be in the next edition of David Walliams's World's Worst Parents? Maybe I could be a character called Dithering Daisy, the Mum who Drove her Kids Crazy with her Procrastination?"

He just smiled and said, "Thanks for getting me new pants, Mum. I don't think any other mum would have done it". My heart nearly burst. No, other mums were organised. Thank goodness my kids are forgiving.

And all was right with the world. Until Friday. Sports day.

My daughter came out with her outgrown tracksuit pants up to her knees and my son with his new tracksuit pants swimming around his ankles. "Quick!" I said. "Swap pants!"

They did. And it was a miracle. They each fit. And they were gender-neutral. Oh, happy day.

Enjoy back to school parents.